Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
