She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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