singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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