If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
