summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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