apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
