I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Terrible idea I love it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
