My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
