let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
