You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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