I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
