She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
