butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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