So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
