Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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