I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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