My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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