found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
