Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
