oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
