i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
