He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
