haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
