apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
