if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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