we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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