the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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