marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize