There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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