i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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