Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
