I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
