super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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