For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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