Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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