So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
