its not stalking. its research.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
