Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
