He uses pillows to masturbate.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
