if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Semen is not good for contacts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
