Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
