Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
