Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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