i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
