If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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