What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
