Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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