Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
