His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
