I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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