sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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