In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize