I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
