I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
