you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
