some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
