I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she pinky promised me she was 18
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
