at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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