I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
