I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
