Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
