Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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