her vagine was all disorganized.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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