beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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