Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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