Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
