I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
