I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize