Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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