She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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