he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize