i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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